This morning, I opened my son’s Facebook account after a long time. The account was created 6 years back by my ex-husband, and as I opened it I saw a flurry of notifications on the bell icon. I clicked it only to discover that most of these updates belonged to my ex-husband, who is flaunting the 2nd innings of his life.

Intrigued, I clicked those updates. It seems his second wife belongs to a high status Delhi family with lots of local relationships and houses. Rakhi celebrations, birthday celebrations, dinners, lunches, anniversaries.. The list goes on.
Yes, my ex husband’s life has taken a U turn. I also saw his 9 year old step-child. French cropped hair, tropical print shirt and blue washed joggers, the kid carried the weight of fashion on his little shoulders. In an instant, I drew comparisons between him and my kid.

I for one never liked lavish family gatherings, elaborate photo sessions, and trending dresses. These repel me off like obnoxious moths. A corner street tea with a close friend in dusky evenings is all that I need to lift my mood. And yet, those DSLR clicked pictures led me to believe that the quality of life that my kid has is inadequate. His social circle attenuated due to our divorce, the disposable money has reduced due to my corporate job quit and passion pursuit.

Impact? I called up my partner and sobbed uncontrollably!

I think he is used to it. I’m so prone to make comparisons between my kid and the step-kid of my husband, every time I see their new whatsapp dp and Facebook pictures. My bitterness further increases at the reality of abandonment of my child by his biological father. Behind the volumes of ever-smiling pictures my ex-husband, his new wife, his step-child, his father, his brother, lurks the crushed wishes of a kid who is asked to write about his father in a school assignment and he does not know what to? Is this ethical? I question the authenticity of human relations which are not driven by kindness rather ‘mortal needs’.
My partner must have memorized these rants by now 🙂

So he asked me not to worry. We will get married soon once he is able to make enough living to give three of us a comfortable life. He loves my child and is already the unspoken father figure for him. He then reminds me of the principles, ethics, goodness, and morality that I stand for as a woman and how my kid will inherit these values from a mother who does not fear. I’m calmer now.