These are the words of my former colleague, who I counselled for quarter of an hour. The man discovered this page on Facebook and got courage to reach out to me, his former boss for his addiction. He called me up thrice but was barely able to speak the word ‘sex’, let alone describe his situation. On the fourth instance, I assured him for the eight time.
‘There is nothing wrong in talking about #sex. Speak up!’
He then shared how he had a year long physical relationship with a married woman, who was sexually unsatisfied in her marriage. The woman would boost his morale by telling him, that he was awesome in lovemaking. He followed this with few more relationships and got a similar admiration from his other girlfriends. He said that girls confide that their previous men rushed in to final act of sex whereas this man would spend more time on foreplay. His fetish was to suck and stimulate the toe and he would spend 25 minutes only on foreplay. Now, which girl would not love that. In fact, it is recommended that the time ratio of foreplay : sex should be 6:4. That is the amount of time spent on foreplay should always exceed the amount of time spent in penetration.
It has been a year that this man is in any kind of relationship and he has become so bogged down with this idea that he is consciously searching for a sexually dissatisfied female. I knew him in office and he was at a junior level, where he was not a center of attention of anyone. He carried operational tasks and was a cog in the giant corporate wheel. I felt that could be a reason and this is what I told him. That he has to channel this ‘need for recognition’ through a positive outlet rather than finding random females to fill their sexual urge.