Of late, I’ve developed an interest in learning and working in the area of Sexuality Education. Having a rudimentary knowledge in the subject, I decided to join a volunteer fellowship program from an NGO. The invite mail from the program coordinator addressed us as ‘See you Guys’ and made me suspect for a second, on the profile of the attendees. Nevertheless, I did go there and jumped out of my skin when I saw a group of 18-19-year-old girls and boys. Gosh! They were all freshers and here I’m, a 34 year old single mother. I felt so out of place, awkward sitting there. I wanted to pick my bag and leave on impulse.
Yet, the love of learning and passion for working on female empowerment made me stick my butt on the mattress. This anxiety coming from me, who boasted on being friends with 75-year-old and 48-year-old men. ‘Age is just a number.’ But it was a hedonist view. In that setting, I had an edge of being the younger one and hence I had no qualms in flaunting it.
But here, I suffered terrible anxiety as the young Turks asked each other, the introduction questions ‘which college, which year’. Their faces baby like, skin radiant, svelte bodies, eyes twinkling. Oh! I have shed so much with age. I thought. At one time, I imagined watching myself in a mirror, am I looking too old, is my skin saggy, am I looking like their mom, all kinds of weird questions popped in my head.
Yet, the session went well and I could see it was just the frigid boundaries of my mind that imprisoned me in those insecurities. We all were very much human, born on this planet for a few years with life and death in common. What’s common for us is our work and we will live to be. Time went by and I joined the fellowship program of two weeks. I became friends with those teenagers and had a lot of learning and fun with them. Now I can truly say that ‘Age is just a number’ : )