I’m going to die. One day, someday. I was in my preteens when one day this thought suddenly caught my mind. And it left me restless for many years. I remember being in utmost distress and panic. What worth this life holds for me when it is going to get over one day? I became laid-back for I knew all my hard work is going to land in the tombstone I will be laid in for my final rest. What is the point of clinging to material assets? What is the point of all accumulations?
I remember holding the strap-hung handle in my school bus and thinking with tearful eyes. That phase continued for years and eventually I got rid of the torment. But in the process it impressioned in my mind, a lifelong realization of the inevitable truth. ‘Death’
When I look around, I see an absolute ignorance of this fact of life among people. In fact ‘mortality’ is the precise reason that attracted me to my partner 3 years back. In our conversations he said, what is the point of this reckless accumulation and self-interest when eventually we have to die? I was filled with wonder! There’s someone else who thinks like me. For this very reason, I have never disliked or hated anyone. I have never cut off connections with anyone. I still like all my ex-boyfriends including my husband. I want to hold connection with them all.
In all my interactions with people, I see an absolute lack of this awareness. We believe us to be immortals. Not realizing that one day our bodies will fail, our organs will quit, our limbs will become feeble, and this beauty will fade away. Notwithstanding all our achievements, accumulations, and relationships, we all will one day be reduced to dust, to the ultimate conqueror, death.
Wouldn’t it then do good if we embosom this truth. I remember when I was fired by my boss, this thought came to my mind. In about 30-40 years we both will die. The designations and promotions will be left behind. Wouldn’t it then do good if you become a little sympathetic towards me? I remember when I was ditched by my then boyfriend. In about 40-50 years we both will die. The girl you are forsaking me for. You will only spend numbered days with her. Wouldn’t it then do good if you don’t break my heart?