Popular culture has thrust upon us that nakedness and undressing is sexy or sensual, but a lot of times watching a partner dressing up can cause the same effect. In fact I sometimes think the whole idea of dressing up by brides and grooms for marriage also has a deep sexual and sensual undercurrent. Pooja Priyamvada writes –
After a Sunday afternoon of rip-roaring sex the doorbell rings and he hastily slips on just his shorts to check who, she looks at the bulge and feels the heat grow again.
She is up early and picks up the DSLR to click shots of the sunrise from the bay window of their room in the resort as she turns around to see him pull down the T-shirt on his well-built torso, lazily moving out of the bed, she almost dropped the camera!
He is getting ready for an important meeting, she for a regular work day and moving out and about the room; she glances at how well the rich fabric of his well-cut formal trousers cup his shapely behind. She is almost salivating.
She slips out of the bed and picks up his t-shirt to wear, as she slips it down and it brushes warm breasts she feels aroused, she looks straight into the mirror, the edge of the cloth only partly covering her hairy seat of passion and her juices begin to flow.
So what gets women hot?
Most women often don’t analyse what exactly turns them on; arousal just seems to happen if it does and sometimes especially in long-term monogamous relationships a lot happens even without arousal (wham-bam thank you ma’am)
For most women sexual arousal is like a black box —they do experience it, but they do not understand it.
Research also ascertains that women’s arousal is quite ‘complex’ compared to male arousal which is majorly visual. Alfred Kinsey’s Sexual Behaviour in the Human Female and Nancy Friday’s My Secret Garden reported were path breakers as these proposed that women’s fantasies can be often as bold, hard-core and dirty as men’s if not more.
Now in the era of Fifty Shades of Grey women seem to have come a long way from not knowing their own clitoris to negotiating sexual contracts too.
Each person has a unique erotic map which refers to the complicated blueprint of what turns the individual on consisting of genetics, hormones and erotic experiences from early adolescence. The erotic maps evolve slightly as we grow by our environs, stress, health and sexual relationship dynamics.
While each erotic map is subjective, there are a few broad basic tenets women fall into.
- A Sensual body-oriented woman would rely heavily upon the five basic senses to feel arousal.
- A Cognitive brain-oriented one would rely more on thoughts and imagination to raise the sexual quotient.
- An Intimacy type woman’s primary motivation would be to “feel” an emotional connection first with their partner.
- An Attractor woman gets aroused by arousing her partner.
Then there is the whole wide world of fetishes and fantasies. Clothing or garment fetish is a common sexual fetish that involves a fixation with a particular article or type of clothing so much so that it exists as an exclusive and recurrent stimulus for sexual gratification.
The sight of a person wearing that particular article of clothing, wearing that dress oneself, the way the fabric feels or the way the garment functions are all part of this fetish and this might also include watching the partner dress up rather than undress.