Disclaimer: This article is purely a work of non-fiction of the happily single (in a partnership) writer and many dirty secrets of married couples were revealed during the making of this article. Any resemblance, living or dead to the miseries of married couple is hence not coincidental.
My own life and experiences have made to me, some surprising revelations. 10 years back I would have given anything to get married. Today, I will do anything to stop being married. Crying over spilled milk? Nah. This great work of art would not have been possible without the leering support of countless, hapless married men who hit on me. Add to it, disrupting work of philosophers, authors, sociologists, anthropologists, and the truth is apparent. Marriage is not an institution of love, it is a support structure to help two individuals in love, dive through a world rife with uncertainties and conflict. There are more reasons to get married than just love.
To deconstruct this conclusion, let me talk about the fundamental needs of all human beings. Security and Passion. These are two polar forces that pull us in different directions. Where security is present, passion wanes. Where passion, risk, and adventure reside, security is non-existent. What excites you more, Monica Lewinsky or Hillary Clinton? What would you like to watch, a daily soap or a nightclub striptease affair? Did you see the reason looming at the heart of these answers. We are attracted towards the forbidden just as moths towards the wick of the lamp.
It seems marriage is liked because of the grounding it provides to a couple. You get love, compassion, support, and financial, social security. Indeed! But erotica functions at a different level altogether. Erotic desire or sex drive thrives in circumstances of risk, adventure, newness. And this is where marriage struggles. In striving to provide the status quo, it deadens the sex drive of the couple.
In words of a reader : I have always thought marriage should be a celebration done in later years in life for years spent together, for surviving the journey of life together; a celebration of commitment after it has actually taken place.
While you deliberate on this, also read these unconventional reasons from real people on what gets two people married to each other.
Because parents and society demands it. They give into their parents’ blackmail about their life goals for settling their children. Well of course, after the honeymoon is over, its an eyeopener for all – Astha Mohan
It’s a societal conditioning. A milestone pre-decided. A belief that life is incomplete without this. Unfortunately companionship is always equated to having a life partner, which is not true!
To attain social sanction to their union. There is only one harmonious way to live with my lover, and yet be accepted/loved by our parents. To make the relationship permanent by law.
Because that’s what they have seen while they were brought up. Females have been told that they are born to get married and grow their families. Sons are told they will run the family name. People don’t want to explore something new by staying single and want to go by the previous experiences. For Indian women of my generation it was to find a home I could call my own as repeatedly told by my parents through my adolescent years.
Age pressure and because after a good career, there is nothing better to do other than marriage. Mukta Satyarthi Thakral
Every friend of mine was getting married. Was just out of a relationship and was scared won’t find anyone ever and will end up alone, so. Most people get married just because everybody else of their age is being married. Smriti Sinha
Grew up watching SRK movies and always dreamed of a having a blessed life with great career. Yash Raj’s romantic movies fucked up the life. 90s Bollywood movies has romanticized love endlessly and girls are shown just one sided story of marriage – a happily married prince and princess. We as audience underestimate the power of influence the celluloid has on us.
My Permanent Pet
Fear and insecurity of being alone. To have that sense of security and belonging for life. Something which is entirely yours, something you can claim to be yours in this whole wide world.
I’d say, people marry for old age security and that’s the summing up of marriage if observed deeply and widely. It all comes to that ultimately. ‘Convenience’ could be another reason. As in you will get someone to do you chores; to blame; to take care of you. Your parents won’t have worry about you. You won’t have to explain why you are single. In some cases for females they won’t have to earn a living and for men they won’t have to bother cooking.
The desire to have someone for oneself. That someone special to share your life with. I wanted that one person to be only mine.I married so that I have one with whom I can fight, can talk all type of rubbish talks. Where somebody waits for me at home.
License Milega Sex Ka
Sex is legalized and is socially sanctioned only in marriage, and anything out if it is considered taboo. So sexual tendencies are stigmatized if not in marriage. Yes people do get married for SEX. In short, to sleep with someone with parents’ approval :S allowed by only so called “marriage”.
It’s a social practice for satiating a biological need of sex for free. To get a certificate to “legitimately” do something that they are ostracized for, if done before marriage. Madhumita Bhattacharjee Nayyar
In India sex is available in 2 colors: 1. Haath peele karwa ke 2. Muhh kaala karwa ke
For fixed mating partner instead of going here and there.
Where is Your Money Honey?
The genesis of marriage as an institution/system is linked to the origin of personal & later on private property and then demarcating inheritance for it. Gaining financial wealth, assets, status, and power of one’s spouse. Murali Krishna
To fill nominee name in bank, offices, LIC and other govt or private institution and that column can’t be left blank, its mandatory. At the time of House loan, 0.05% discount is given if done papers on wife name. Bhanu Pratap
Mera Bachcha Kaun Hai?
To ascertain and legitimize the identity of the offspring.
Children need a safe and secured environment for growing up stably. Institution of marriage was formed to create a healthy, safe environment for bringing up children. I mean without marriage, most children may be lawaris.
To make the process of procreating look beautiful and legitimate. Indian Society still looks down on a woman who has children outside marriage
Few Things get you Happiness. For Everything else, There is Marriage
Veenashkaal mein vipreet buddhi. Ye ek rehesya hai.. ye maya hai.
So that you can exchange one lot of intrusive people breathing down your neck, for another.
To develop “reflecting” capability. As they think the grass is greener on the other side. Aparnaa Laxmi
Balance on your left foot with your right foot pulled back against your left butt cheek, pat your head with your right hand 14 times and sing Baby Shark. All while standing naked beside a leprechaun riding a unicorn in a park. Honestly no clue:) Sneha Raj
Cause happiness is not the only emotion one needs to experience in a lifetime, one needs to know what horror, comedy and fiction are all about too. we need to experience more in order to grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Getting married is the fastest way to grow!!! Neha Bansal
Free House Maintenance, Nursing Services – To have a home of one’s own. When a person is ill, a stable partner to take care.
Bhagne Nahi Dungi
Love is an emotion and humans are liable to change, whether better or worse. In live-ins, people can leave at any time during vulnerable moments. Marriage is a step further and more concrete stamp of their love. Reason of Stability ensures there is no competition.
if you’re so much into someone then no marriage required really. And I remember once l said this to a potential BF and he said Oh but then what if you don’t get along later, then what about legalities, so he actually made a point that one should marry so divorce cannot become easy.
To settle your life.. and put a seal to it. I fell in love and wanted to be together for lifetime. I believe that marriage keeps you together.
Ganga Jal -Marriage gives sanctity to love.
Hai Meri Kamar Tut Gayi -In India apart from commitment marriage means social boundations, responsibilities, family growth, dis-allowance to have extra contacts, loss of independence and unending list.
MCD -Marriage is an evolved social system that represents public commitment while protecting individual interests. It prevents delinquency and crime in the society.
In my take, love does not need law to prevail or sustain. It depends on two people if they want to be committed and if they do, they should not look for a legal reason to sustain future uncertainties. If one enters into marriage, it is for more reasons to stay together other than love. Indeed marriage helps in securityThere are many examples in society of people who lived a life conspicuous with eternal love with their partners – Audrey Hepburn-Robert Wolders, Amrita Pritam-Imroz, Ophrah Winfrey-Stedman Graham. These couples stayed together for decades without getting married to each other, had all the spousal benefits, name recognition, resources, and even raised children responsibly. Still think, marriage is the only way to seal love?