This is the transcript of a conversation between me and my womentor Niyam Bhushan
Niyam: Pallavi, how many children are born per day? Umm, how many children are born per second?
Pallavi : Somewhere in millions?
Niyam : No, no. See you don’t know your figures. How many children are born per second?
Pallavi : Don’t know, thousands, hundred thousand?
Niyam : No, not hundred thousand. We are not flies.
Pallavi : [Giggles]
Niyam : I think in India alone…, ok let me just look up the figures [Googles]
Niyam : (Still looking) Birth rate… In India… Per 30 minutes (mumbles) Birth.. birth.. (scrolling) in.. Uh, 250 births each minute. So, 6 4 ja.. Hello!
Pallavi : Yeah
Niyam : So in India, one baby is born every 2 seconds.
Pallavi : ok
Niyam : In the world, 4 babies are born per second.
Pallavi : hmm
Niyam : Do you understand what I’m trying to explain to you?
Pallavi : 50% babies in the world are born in India?
Niyam : Pallavi, listen to me, you will laugh. I’d better keep my phone away from my ear, ok?
Niyam : Per second 4 fucks are happening in the world. Do you understand this? These are the fucks which lead to conception.
Pallavi : Oh! Oh! Ok yeah (Realizing this laughs again)
Niyam : How many fucks are happening in the world without conception? Which means, as we speak at this moment, probably 200 couples have had their orgasm in one second.
Pallavi : (Smiling coyly) ok
Niyam : You get it? So as we are discussing this, probably 1200 orgasms are happening per minute and out of those so many women have opened their legs and given births to so many children. 15,000 children are born every hour. Just imagine the sheer volume of what you’re talking about. And yet no one knows about it. No one understands nuances, complexities, and the psychological, cultural, aspects of this.
Pallavi : So what do you think I’m trying to do? I understand sex is happening. How does it fit in this puzzle?
Niyam : Now add the population of cows, goats, and mammals (chuckles) and then start adding the population of every living species that you can think of. You will discover that the figure is going into trillions. The population of some species is ten times more that of human. Like ants for example. So if you have to literally combine all the energy being released during sex by all species, it is more than enough to make the world go round. Do you get what I’m trying to explain to you?
Pallavi : That’s the potential, yes!
Niyam : This is the scale. Now you have to explain to the world that riding this massive scale are issues which are hurtful. Out of these, how many could be rapes? How many could be molestation? How many could be women facing lots of issues or men facing tremendous issues and some more that could later lead to divorces and breakups? You have to state that this is a lifetime of work for you, and it won’t end even when I’m dead and gone. So for heaven’s sake, do you see the scale of the vision of your work is at least 100x?
Pallavi : hmm
Niyam : Do you understand the scale of your work? Now you tell me, how many people do you need to work with you to take on this scale?
Pallavi : But what is the work? There are ten different sites that are sharing every possible information on foreplay, orgasm, sexual health, AIDS, HIV, and so on. Everything is there on the internet. What am I trying to do additionally out of it?
Niyam : You are not talking about health, you are talking about the phenomena of sexuality. And within sexuality, one small part is health. And another small part is social impact. The third impact is on women empowerment, liberation. What you are doing is bigger than WHO. So first, remind yourself what is it that you are doing here. Don’t use this ‘health’ word here.
Pallavi : Ha
Niyam : You say: I’m doing a sexual emancipation movement and I’m bringing dignity and debate back to the bed and on to the table on a gender-equalized platform.
Pallavi : But there are so many feminist organizations who are already talking about sex. Even in all possible ways, premarital sex or #metoo. So what is it additionally that I’m doing? There is all possible information that is available on the internet. But the problem is it all is impersonalized, it is anonymous. And this is what my core philosophy is. You should talk about sex with your face. It is not something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.
Niyam : May I, may I interrupt you please? You should say: :the closest to the world that I’m doing is ‘Vagina Monologues’. However, the Vagina Monologues is just a monologue. In the context of Indian culture, in the cultural impact, I’m not doing a vagina monologue, I’m doing a ‘Vagina Satsang’.
Pallavi : ok
Niyam : Do you get it? ‘Sat’ means Truth, ‘Sangh’ means with people and community, and in the cultural phenomena of India you know what is satsang. So boldly state: “I am doing a Vagina Satsang’. In India. From India. And for the world.
Pallavi – [Giggles]
Niyam – “I am taking this to such a level, that the world world will look towards India to learn and understand.”
Pallavi : Niyam even then, I am finding it difficult to communicate. What is unique in what I’m doing? Like on Milaap I said #letstalksex. We have to talk about our sex lives. It’s not about a third person perspective because this is what I suffered and this is what everyone is suffering. Because they can’t talk about it on a personal level. People think: ‘If I have to write about my sexual life with my identity, my picture, my name and this is my sexual experience’, then no one will ever do it. Never ever. This is what is my unique proposition. Otherwise every possible information is already available on internet.
Niyam: Of course you’ve absolutely got it. You are going beyond the health, politics, and social debates that drown out the crux of sexuality. Yours is the voice of an artist, you have the clarion call that reveals a cosmic vision. You are a female Vatsayana of the 21st century with a blog.
Pallavi: So then what do I need, how do I take this forward?
Niyam: You’ve got to say that you: “Need a man with balls. An investor who can understand the scale of my work”.