Betty Dodson is a wild woman. She is wild in the sense of undomesticated; she lives outside many of society’s normative restrictions. Betty Dodson is a wolf in wilderness, howling at the moon, reminding us of our primal sexual nature. Her drawings and paintings depict women and men naked and sexual and inherently beautiful making love with themselves and others. Her books, videos, lectures, and workshops extol us to reclaim our birthright as vibrant orgasmic beings, a birthright stolen and hidden from us by religious and political fanaticism. – Women of light
I could feel my soul in Betty’s body. Like her, I’m a wild woman fiercely wanting to reclaim her sexual freedom and form a path for others to follow, both men and women. Like her and million other women, I was and am still caught in the double standard of financial security and love, marriage. We are still living in times where many women want complete freedom in careers, education, finances, but when it comes to sex, they are still dependent on a certain Mr. right for their orgasmic pleasure.
It does not work with me anymore. There is an incoherent hunger in me to connect with likable men on a spiritual and sexual level. For me, my body is my tongue through which I want to speak to the other. I don’t feel there is anything impure in me wanting to share my love with more men. But where I fail is I’m a mother and thus my mobility and savageness is restricted because I’m a caregiver. In my limited jaunts, I try to live my life as fully as possible. I write freely on my sexual experiences and fantasies and flirt openly with men. I also have infrequent dalliances. This secret rendezvous is essential to my wholesome survival as a sexual being.
Reading about Betty and her first-step to experientially teach women, their sexual freedom and orgasmic pleasure by hosting “liberating masturbation” parties at her home, gave me a dim hope. If I’m able to build a community of women who are open and outspoken about their sexual freedom, their untamed sexual rights; together we can attain our true blue individualism. Freedom to think, to fantasize, and to act on our carnal urges, without worrying about our bread and the butter. It’s easy to confirm this gap: When it comes to making a grocery list, we have hundreds of items to fulfill our palate but when it comes to talking about our repertoire of rich sexual experiences we simply don’t know. Orgasmic independence is as crucial for a woman as her feminist independence.
Like Betty, I want to organize “know your genital” gatherings and “masturbation celebration” ceremonies. I want to invite a group of women to a place closest to home in privacy and compassion and encourage them to look at their genitals using a hand mirror. I’m confident that this single process can unleash a genital awakening when the women come in closest contact with their own sexuality; reveling in their unique anatomies, clitorises, vaginal lips, strange little odd bumps, pale white secretions, different colorations and bush of pubic hair. Our society and culture has numbed us in our sexual desires and put a lock of a code of conduct on our wild primal sexual instinct. To reclaim what we have once lost, we have to go back inwards and sprout the dormant seed of sexual pleasure.
Any change is not easy and coming to terms with self-pleasuring can be difficult for some of us. I for one took a lot of time to understand that masturbation, self-pleasuring, rich and varied sexual experience is essential for my true spiritual and internal fulfillment. In my rich sexual experiences, I have experienced varied orgasms ranging from mild to intense, long to short, in different sexual positions standing, kneeling, doggie style, and lying down with different leg positions. It would not have been possible if I had not connected with my own body, which took decades to happen.
But dear women, I do not want you to wait for so long. Time is precious and so is youth. Menopause will kick us down for some time when our hormone levels will see an erratic fluctuation. The time has come to embrace your sexuality on your own first and then share this joy with your man or any man for that matter. It would help if you can have a little electric massager in your hands while you do your own little thing; spending anywhere between ten to twenty minutes of self-loving and experience the ultimate hedonistic heaven. I especially like screaming o-vibe massager from IMBesharam. It fits in your ring finger with ease and provides targeted stimulation at any area of your vulva you like.