I think of you. Often. It’s disgusting, but I can’t stop.

As I was about to leave his apartment after spending a week for my journey back home, he turned back and said: “Check if you have left something unwittingly”. I was filled with tears but couldn’t afford to look into his eyes and say “Precious! I’ve left everything. On this bed where we made love; in this washroom where I adorned my body with a Dhaniakhali Cotton Saree, secretly longing for your lingering gaze; on the buttons of your shirt that I nibbled like a fruitcake; on this doorstep where I’m bidding you goodbye. I’m leaving everything”.
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The pain of leaving the man, you suddenly realized you are in love with is simply unbearable. More importantly after spending a few days with him when you get this realization at the time of departure. Life goes haywire trust me.
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It all started last November. We met on social media and started interacting. Initially, it was very formal and then after a few conversations that lasted till the wee hours of the morning, we realized we liked each other. Both being cerebral and sensitive is what played a prominent role. His wittiness and sense of humor attracted me. He is a kind of a person with whom am comfortable in sharing the nuances of life, the vividness of life. We never faked our relationship. For him, respect and love are the pillars of a relationship and for me, it was trust and respect. Love was never on my agenda. 
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We had decided to meet as we live in two different cities and then the day came. I boarded the train to be with him. Sexual intimacy coupled with adda (Bengali chatter or gossip about everything under the sun), listening to music, watching movies were on the list of do’s that we decided we would be exploring together. Even bondage sex. But Love, nope, never.
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At the wee hours of one cold Saturday morning, I reached. He made tea for us before the customary hug. A tight and warm hug is all one needs to feel fresh and lively after a long journey of the train. And we made love. He was gentle and loving, taking care of my every inch. Needless to say, I surrendered. The experience of warm semen entering me as he ejaculated inside was itself a beautiful expression. I felt satisfied and happy. He loved me with passion and zeal with a sumptuous amount of love bites all over. He filled my body and aching heart with happiness and peace.
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Love embraced me in silence. I took some time to spot its subtle presence. Love was there when he booked a room at a state youth hostel for me to take rest when we traveled long distance on road. Care was there when he bought a large mineral water bottle for me (I was new to the city) before he traveled to another part of the city to attend his program. While taking rest in his absence, I realized am missing him terribly.
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My face illuminated when I saw him at the corridor of the Secretariat talking to his driver. I was smiling as I was walking towards him and he kept looking at me. Love was there when he ate three instead of customary four paranthas the day I was to leave for home. The cook had made the usual three plain chapatis for my breakfast. But I was to take those three for my dinner during my train journey.
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Was not this love?
Before he came to my life, I was in a non-fulfilling relationship where I was never a priority. It was me along with several others. So I was filled with immense pain. My new man opened my heart chakra cleansing me of my pain and anguish, taking me to a new realm of love and happiness.
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Do you want to inquire about a private session with Pallavi? Please, send us a message on redwomb.smiles@gmail.com