Today I had a hot, shirt-ripping, setting the bed on fire sex with my partner after a long time, almost counting months. I initiated this animal act by becoming a lioness myself. In a frenzy, I pulled him towards me and bolted the door. It was broad daylight with the mother being awake in another room but hell! I don’t care. That’s what real passion, real sex is. When thoughts of responsibilities and who will think what, discontinue in your mental turf. The kissing was animated; we did not kiss each other but bit each other’s lips in quick turns. Soon our lips were red and swollen and I chided him.
“Don’t you remember that I have my shoot today. How can I shoot with a swollen lip?”
He left nibbling my lips and then quickly slid his rugged hand under my shirt to undo the bra and I too with great difficulty pulled his grey banyan tucked underneath his skin-tight blue denim. We had a little foreplay as both of us became impatient to fill each other and he quickly unbolted the room to get his backpack in which he kept his condom. It was sudden and unpredictable so he did not have time to keep one in his jeans pocket. He came inside, pushed a pillow underneath my hips and condom-ed his manhood. And as he began to thrust inside me, I groaned in pain. It is the last day of my periods and there was still some leftover stain inside. But I stayed put and so did he, and ultimately my groans transformed into ecstatic moans. I held his face with both my hands as he thrusted even deeper than before; his throbbing penis bursting fireworks in my womb. Our animal act culminating with one final loud shake of the bed; glistening sweat drops on our bodies and my immensely wet yoni.
It is not the usual erotic play that we experience. It took another affair outside my relationship to rekindle the lost sexual charm in my relationship.
It is not that I and my partner don’t have sex. In fact, we have it quite often, more than the average committed, married couples as per the India Today sex survey, that quoted that only 20% of couples have sex once a week. We fall in this coveted 20% bracket. And yet it felt dissatisfying.
The problem has nothing to do with the quantity of sex but the lack of excitement in it. Sex has become regular and boring. There is no anticipation, no barrier; it is all freely available to be savored anytime, anywhere. As a committed couple living in a domestic partnership, both of us hold a license to have sex with each other under our family’s nose. But that’s it. I’m sorry to say that a license cannot build the passion. As much as we have the power to decide our careers, house address, spouse, phone model, car model, no. of kids, etc. we are acutely powerless when it comes to limiting our sexual desire to one person and making it incredibly gratifying and pleasurable.
Sexual desire has its own formula that can demolish the moral frontiers of our society that has allowed families and children to survive since time immemorial. So what can be done? I’m a young single mother with a dependent child and I’m a testimony to this double-edged sword. I know that the stable family environment that has kept me safe, nurtured and helped me raise my kid cannot create a room for jutting, hip-shaking arousal. The abundant responsibilities mummify us into roles from which we cannot escape and thus our gallivanting sexual desire comes to a standstill. In our Cherished homes, we have made sexual desire a household chore.
But I’m not the one to bend and accept this as my fate. I’m a risk-taking, risk-loving person and risk is what is needed to bring the lost sexual desire back in my relationship. Sexual desire thrives on risk but in our pursuit to make our relationships stable, we kill all risks and then are left at the end wondering where has the passion gone! As a sexually aware and informed person, I consciously create and invite the risk in my relationship. Sounds weird : ) but it is practical.
The little amount of risk that I indulge outside the terrain of my relationship is flirting, kissing, cuddling, necking, and petting. I do not like intercourse as much as I like French-kissing and also the fear of STD’s and STI’s keeps me at bay from having intercourse with a person, unless I have known him for a really long time.
That day when I had this uncontrollable, frantic sex with my partner; I made the plan of a secret carnal rendezvous with another man. Yeah! The plan included passionately kissing that another man in an old monument; keeping my partner in oblivion. I told my partner that I want to go to the old fort to do a reading with the Muslim man and my partner knew that in the open, deserted ruins; tresses of tulip trees; rugged halls of the fort there lies an ample opportunity to become physically intimate. I had earlier been to the fort with my men friends but did not share sexual chemistry with them. With this Muslim man, I’m going to the same fort but with a different intention in my mind. An intention I did not manifest through words but was implicitly clear to my partner. Poor guy! He could not object and it made me feel guilty to lie to him. The deception turned a potent aphrodisiac and we ended up gliding in sexual heaven. The guilt drove me to take my relationship more seriously.
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