I am a natural flirt. I flirt with life and with everyone I come in contact with – the waiters, bartenders, receptionists, men and women of all ages. However, I rarely come across someone who matches my flirting skills. This art of flirting came to me with my sexual self-awareness and freedom. A woman who knows her body and is comfortable in her own skin is a powerful being.
For me, flirting is connecting to my inner self. I am observant, I notice too much for my own good, I possess a strong sense of smell and I am present in the moment with the person. (Of course, I zone out when boredom strikes). I embrace smell, touch and movement and I am in touch with what turns me on. I connect with the other with all my senses. Hence, I am always flirtatious. Well, almost always.
Flirting can be romantic or sexual or a combination of both. It’s not necessary that the act of flirting has to lead to a sexual exchange. At times, unexpected and witty exchange of flirty conversation lifts up the mood and produces happy molecules within. As good as eating my favourite dessert without gaining calories!
Once on a date in a lounge, the waiter serving us had an unbelievably cute smile. While placing the order, I remarked, ‘And can I get a smile, please?’ He smiled sheepishly and said, ‘Excuse me, ma’am?’ I told him he had a sweet smile. He blushed, thanked me and left. To which my date said, ‘Wow, do you not flirt with anyone?’ I laughed. He continued, ‘I have no idea of what I am getting into.’ And indeed he didn’t. Needless to say, I received special attention from the waiter the entire evening and from my date as well. If you are wondering, yes, I flirted with the date as well, throughout the evening. By the end of the meeting, he was so turned on that we started kissing in the elevator of the lounge and continued it until we reached his bedroom.
I dated a man who would blush or tell me to shut up when I would whisper dirty things to him in public. While standing in the queue to check out in a department store, I would whisper something in his ear and bite it. In showrooms, I would tease him in the trial room. He would scan our surroundings with furtive glances and ask me to behave but the glint in his eyes would say otherwise. He would respond to my public flirting later in the bedroom with the whispers that would make my body tremble with pleasure. Words are powerful and when said at the perfect time with right moves, they create explosive chemistry in the mind and body. I told him on so many occasions that he made love like poetry. And that is definitely an art.
I was out with a lady friend. We were trying out a new café in town. I asked the waiter his name (I like to address people by their names). He had an interesting name and I asked him what it meant. He explained to me its meaning with a pleasant smile. After he left, my friend said, ‘Were you flirting with him?’ I told her I wasn’t. I genuinely found his name interesting. And she said, ‘You are a subtle seductress.’ In other words, what appears normal to me comes across as flirting to others. While it is an interesting perspective, I sometimes struggle with this flamboyant trait. It is at times considered ‘dropping hints’ which isn’t really my thing. I don’t understand what hint-dropping is. Because I say out loud what I intend to.
I believe flirting is akin to complimenting the other. I flirt with my friends (irrespective of gender) all the time. While flirting is fundamental and effortless for me, it isn’t the same with everyone. The good news is it is something you can learn and get better at. After all, our survival depends on our connection with each other. Just throw some style and attitude into it and spice up the ordinary connections! (But also beware of the miscreants and fun-spoilers.)
Do you want to book a private session with Pallavi about your sexual and intimacy related queries? Send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.