“All the religions have destroyed the sacredness of love. They have condemned it as a sin. And the conditioning has gone so deep in the human mind that people are making love in such a hurry as if they want to finish it as quickly as possible. Naturally, if it is a sin, it is better finished soon. If lovers want to make love a meditative experience; then first thing is to drop the idea that it is sin; that it is something wrong. It is something immensely beautiful; a tremendous gift of nature, of existence for which you should not be guilty; you should be grateful. And to show your gratefulness, you have to make a special place for it. Every house and every couple who can afford should have a separate room just for love. No other vibe there; no fight, no argument, no throwing of pillows. They should enter the room after taking a bath as if they are going into a temple.” Osho
Isn’t he right? After I read this; I looked around at my existing bed and remembered all the previous beds on which I made love with my lover(s). My bed at this moment is cluttered with leftover utensils (6 in total), kid school bag, water bottle, scattered books; dried clothes, chips packet, laptop charger, earphones, and ointment to heal burning. The mother is screaming on the mischievous kid. The previous beds fared marginally better in the sense that there was lesser stuff lying around but the bed was used by all housemates as it was a shared accommodation. I could now clearly discern why the lovemaking was never timeless but rather hurried through towards thrusts and penetration.
It is through my introduction to Tantra that I understood the importance of keeping your love nest free of cold vibes and make it beautiful. I did experience the magnificence of lovemaking by chance a month back when my partner lighted 2 spare aromatic jar candles that I bought for my event on intimacy. It is surprising that for my intimate events, I light a candle for ambiance but never did so in my own bedroom. The partner placed 2 candles on the top of a bookshelf and their illumination spread into the entire room. He then lay near me and we spent the night talking to each other; looking intently at each other in the golden fragile flame. The whole room glimmered from those embryonic bonfires.
The simple act of watching him light those candles was so erotic. Even better because we were tired; we did not indulge in lovemaking but just rested and softened in that ambiance. Because we did not pursue a goal-oriented mindset to have sex; the experience was far more magical! Just being there; lying next to each other having a pillow talk can be so sensual, so erotic! Indeed, sex is a sensual awakening and that night our senses were awakened to heart and soul.
Sex is nature. Look at nature, the slow gurgling stream, the cascading breeze, the humming black bees, the pink dainty flowers; it is so sexual. Nature is sexual in its rawness; in its nakedness. It is important for us human beings to embrace that rawness and nakedness and also to come close to nature to feel the innate depths of lovemaking. The LED lights or the night bulb are man-made inventions and thus can never lavish the soothing dash of warm morning sunlight. Our skin soaks sunlight but the same skin is darted by LED lights. Hence always opt for candlelight to build that ambience for lovemaking.
What else? I personally like the fragrance of sandalwood incense sticks, light instrumental music, and though I have not done it yet; I also like framed erotic paintings hung on the bedroom wall. Once when I was at the house of a man, he played the old-world song of a Gurudutt film, circa 1950’s. The song sublimated my sexual energy and made me reach ecstatic heights even without intercourse. I had a musical orgasm 😊 Though I was kissing him; it seemed that the music was making love to me instead by uplifting my senses. I once made love to the same man in his hotel room; our bed beside a large mirror. I was heavily turned on by watching his naked shoulders atop me in the mirror. So much can be explored in sex if at all we shift our attention from a goal based sex and instead expand our perception from penetration to sensation.