For a long time I believed that orgasm is a sharp, quick, and intensely pleasurable sensation in the genitals. I also relied on hearsay that women make loud sounds in the throes of orgasm. Being a genteel woman, somehow I could never come to terms with this concept of hard-hitting orgasm. I tried to fit in; adjusted, and faked sounds to feel orgasmic. But to be honest, I did not feel orgasmic at my core. The climax induced sparkle lasted a bare few minutes and left physical pain in my vagina. It got bruised due to repeated thrusts of the plastic sheathed condom. I always took a mandatory repose of 3 days before having second intercourse. I could not discern how can something pleasurable leave you with pain?
Isn’t most of us have this understanding of orgasm? This is orgasm but it is just one of the forms of orgasm, one that is known as peak orgasm.
It was much later in my sexual awareness journey that I read about full-body, energetic orgasm. What helped was my readiness to receive, to flow in the stream of revelation; and emptying the mind from all expectations of what an orgasm is. This state of readiness is essential to experience this new orgasm because most of us think that we know what sex is and what an orgasm means but what we know is just 2% of what is possible in sex.
To me, an orgasm is a life experience; the state of connectedness with the élan mysticism of life. We think that life is monotonous, life is stagnant but it is just a belief, not a reality! Life is much more diverse, unpredictable, rich in form and experience than we have ever imagined. Orgasm is an experience of being expanded beyond your physical body, of being deeply connected to all of life. It is essentially an experience of being life.
How do we reach this state of bliss?
In order to reach this orgasmic-ness you have to shun an ingrained belief. A belief that orgasm results from stimulation We need to learn to inhabit our bodies because we are, to a large degree, disconnected from them. In the same way, we are disconnected from our 5 senses (seeing, smelling, hearing, touching, tasting). And in order to feel something, we have taught ourselves to have a lot of stimulation. So we have become obsessed with stimulation.
There is also a lot of fear hidden in that: fear of not feeling. And this is nothing but the fear of the unknown. And so we have numbed our feelings; we inhabit our minds but have renounced our hearts. We feel ashamed of our tears! Our tears are nothing but a deep orgasmic-ness that erupts from the recess of our sleeping soul.
So we move really fast in order to get to the desired outcome or bring our partner there. However, if we can drop the idea that in order to feel we need stimulation and instead relax into our bodies, release the agenda of performance, release even the goal of orgasm, and drop into all of our present sensations, we would open ourselves to life, to the mystery, and therefore to full-body, energetic orgasms. Actually, an orgasm does not necessarily have to come from genital touch or penetration. Non-sexual pleasure can be an equally orgasmic experience.
The most amazing thing about sex is not sex. It’s the deep orgasm, the bliss, the ecstasy. Sex is just a situation which creates these feelings, and yes there are numerous things that can give you the same ecstasy! Just yesterday, I was strolling past midnight in my society. Most people have slept in their homes and the road was deserted barring a street dog. I reclined on a bench and watched the moon intently. It seemed a blue moon as the clouds consumed it in their fuzzy embrace. I fell in love with the stunningly beautiful view. Nature filled my heart with awe and my body responded with a sigh. I felt a oneness with the spirit of nature, filling my soul and my body with a cosmic orgasm.
Once you are open to receive this slightest of pleasure, having a partner intensifies this experience of orgasm because the emotional blockages are cleared. My friend Sucheta experienced this orgasm and she has narrated it beautifully:
I was warm as he sat adjusting his position. A feeling similar to that of current trickled through my body. Here it is, oh then again and then again and again. Oh my goodness! What is happening? My feet were placed on his chest and then again upon his shoulder when it was happening. I was simply maneuvering my lower limbs. I was deeply attuned to my rising sensations as I looked at his countenance. We had been making love for almost close to an hour. Slowly my entire being dissolved in that amazing sensation. I surrendered! My body became so sensitive. It was like an awakening! It was like blossoming of thousand flowers throughout my being. So out of the world feeling. Long after he reached culmination and we separated, I lay in bed embracing him in a spoon, not bothering to clean me up. It was beyond the expression of what I had felt. It’s as if am in total bliss, at peace. I looked up in gratitude towards my partner. He understood. There was a twinkle in his eyes..