Maybe he bought you tickets to a concert and made you feel so beautiful as you curled your hair and wore your favourite denim dress. Just to smash open your phone and leave you alone on the street, all because he doesn’t like the way a man looks at you.
Maybe he would show you off like a trophy to all his friends, just to come back home and call you a desperate bitch who just wants to show off her dirty curves.
Although you did everything right, but he would never fail to victimise himself by saying how much he loves you and how he is so aware of all the dirty thoughts men hold towards women, only and only because he is not willing to put in efforts to right his wrongs.
It is high time we all realise this is not something to be okay with. This is ABUSE! And it is way more damaging than any other form of abuse, as it not only focuses on physical wounds but also embarks the soul.
To all those who have come this far, don’t be blinded by the perfection I execute, and the courage I fake, the innocence I feign and the confidence I wear.
For I AM BROKEN! As broken as any one of you reading this.
On average there are about 25 percent of women who have been a victim of intimate assault. We can talk everyday about emotional abuse and yet fail to notice it in our close surroundings, even sometimes with our own selves.
Is it because we are so okay about it?
Or because this is the way we define okay… years and years of conditioning and brainwash- ing by society have made us blind to identify the early signs of emotional abuse, to an extent where we fail to develop even a rudimentary understanding of our own self.
I still remember that morning, when I asked my mother the last thing she did in her life for her own happiness. It was 35 years ago when she did something of that sort. After her mar- riage it was all about her in-laws, her husband and then her kids.
This is the way the woman I love the most has spent half her lifetime. I know I can’t bring back the time or change the things for her, but it gives me immense pleasure to take her out to shop and let her buy anything she wants and eat anything she desires, just to tell her in the end that the treat’s on me, followed by the way she says, “Oh, tere paas bade paise aare hai.” There is nothing more precious to me than her smile and her almost teary eyes.
Do not let this happen to you, that one day when you run down the memory lane you could not even identify the time you had an image of self and believed in the concept of self-love.
How to jump out of the vicious circle of Emotional Abuse
It is as important as survival to step out of any such relationship where you have been undergoing emotions like confinement, verbal assault, humiliation, infantilisation or any other form of behaviour tendency that diminishes your self worth and disrupts your identity.
You may begin by setting boundaries, and take a stand for your own self. If necessary walk out of such relationships and never look back. Find a sense to return, and don’t let anybody fool you by minimising the importance of me.
If nothing seems to work and you still have to hide behind the fabricated lies projecting a perfect life and a smile to conceal the searing pain, acute shame and sheer heartache, then run. Yes! to all those people out there, get out of any such relationship and stop pacifying the storm brewing inside you!