My Vibrator Story

///My Vibrator Story
  • Vibrator Sex Toy

My Vibrator Story

“Vulva can be stroked, sucked, squeezed, licked, softly stimulated with a vibrator – go up one side and down the other.” – The Joy of Sex

Yeah, that’s my vibrator put to charge : ) I am 35 years old and my friendship with vibrator only started a month back when my sex life took a dip. My partner started having problems in his professional life, add to that scorching summers that forced my old mother to sleep in the same room as ours. As only that room in our flat had the air conditioner. Our privacy badly suffered from three adults sleeping on the same bed. We had a fairly active sex life but for the last 3 months, we just had sex once. I am amazed to discover that my sexual appetite has remarkably increased.

Quite an improvement from the bygone life of my younger self who stayed married and sexless in that order for 5 long years. Now I cannot live without sex. It starts affecting the peace of my mind and my body. I feel tired, disconnected, and lost! Once I did muster the courage to ask out sex from my partner. I was lying on my bed with a heavy urge to masturbate. Though I do self-pleasure my vulva occasionally, this time the reason to do so (lack of sex) made me ill at ease. I texted him:

“Can we have sex tonight?”

He came home more than happy and splurged me with love but deep down I carried that cultural anxiety of having to ask for sex despite being a woman. In the past, my partner had asked for sex countless times. Neither he did mind having the only person to initiate, nor I felt bad to suspend my usually dominant avatar in the bedroom. I liked being led to my bedroom.

This surrender gives me a much-needed respite from always being in control, always being a decision-maker. Bedroom is the place and time I unwind, let go, and devote. For someone who liked playing a submissive role, being dominant was a grudged task. I resolved never to ask again for sex and thus my sex life again went on standby.

A week later, I was commissioned to do a story on vibrators for a media publication. As I rummaged the stuffed racks of my cupboard to spot the vibrator I was given more than a year back by Raj (founder of IMBesharam) and discovered a peach-colored Satisfyer from among a stack of other sex toys left unused for long.

Pink Intimate Sex Toys

Pink Intimate Vibrator

I had never believed in machine pleasure and always spoke highly of human touch that has emotions, a machine can never have. I had thought using a machine for pleasure makes one machine. But this time I was in a different state, sex-deprived, pleasure deprived. Unwillingly I opened the package, bolted the room and slid the vibrator down on my vulva. It took me some time to figure out how to use it. Initially, I kept the speed low, I did not know that there was a speed button at all. I felt nothing, no pulsation, no shiver, no pleasure.

I forced a faint smile. I knew it will not work; a machine cannot give you pleasure. I was relieved that I did not take the wrong decision when I gave away one of the expensive vibrators to my friend Satish. “Give it to your female friend in Japan.” The women there are more open-minded. He had said.

Just then, when I was about to stop, I spotted the speed button and tapped it multiple times. The speed increased and what followed is difficult to explain in words. My mouth was open wide as it could not contain the pleasure, I did not moan or screamed a thudding yes! but sighed a genteel ah!

In that closed room for the first time in the 3.5 decades of my life, I discovered what an orgasm means. You get a peak orgasm, you reach a climax when you are so drowned by the pleasure that you are unable to react.

It was a moment of crystallized time. I felt my clitoris pulled up towards the sky by unknown hands. It was celestial! I moved the vibrator along my labia, my vagina, and on my perineum. But I was addictively drawn towards the clitoris. I rubbed my vibrator there and sometimes it became too much to hold the bursting, popping pleasure.

It was an amazing dance of restraining and big bang! I am enthralled that I experienced it. Maybe that is how the precision of the machine helps the man, to understand what pleasure is because we are so numbed by the sexual shaming and suppression.

Though at this time, as I finish this journal, my body aching, and yearning for a loving, affectionate caress; I miss the presence of love in my life. Yes! undoubtedly machine can never replace a human. The shiver in my body is increasing, the thirst for pleasure kindling. I run to grab my vibrator again!

By |2019-10-09T08:52:35+00:00August 22nd, 2019|Orgasm, Women|1 Comment

One Comment

  1. Anupam Agrawal September 21, 2019 at 12:21 pm - Reply

    I love the openness toward sex in a girl. This ia a pure natural emotion which should be welcomed, loved and embraced rather than trying to push it away.

    Nice to know in India too, there are such girls who are not shy or ashamed about their sexual needs.

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