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Sex without intercourse

I was lucky to have experienced the joy and ecstasy of “outercourse” or non-penetrative sex in the first few years of my active sexual life itself. At that stage both me and my partner did not want a pregnancy and along with standard birth control always experimented in techniques that were non-penetrative but equally or sometimes even more pleasurable than penetrative sex.

What is sex without intercourse?

Outercourse or more popularly non-penetrative sex is simply the opposite of intercourse. It does not involve sexual penetration by the penis sometimes not even digital i.e. the fingers. The penetrative facets of vaginal, oral or anal sex are excluded here. The commonest non-penetrative sexual activities are kissing, cuddling and dry humping.

Most people equate “sex” with “intercourse” and even use the two terms interchangeably. However sexual gratification cannot be limited to just penetration and hence sometimes does not include it at all.

Some forms of outercourse, do include penetration but without the penis , this can be various types of fingering, fisting or oral sex, erotic massage and using sex toys.

Why is outercourse done?

Personally I feel this is one of the safest, quickest and easiest way to have a quickie. Most people do it to avoid conception, sometimes it is also the main form of foreplay like touching and rubbing each other’s’ genitals and kissing or caressing erogenous zones of each other’s bodies.

Vikash Singh says about men not indulging much in such kind of sex- “What is the hurry!…..Stroke her legs, move your lips on her skin right from her toe to her thighs. Drop some kisses just near her ‘v’ and don’t rush. Let her beg for more that should be your goal.”

Only about 18% of women are able to climax during intercourse i.e. by vaginal penetration alone. A much larger number achieves orgasm by clitoral stimulation hence the importance of outercourse for them. Most women say that this range of activities other than “digging in” enhanced the overall sexual experience.

Sometimes heterosexual couples engage in non-penetrative sex to save virginity of the girl, at other times it is an effective method of birth control as no fluids are being exchanged in the vagina.

Moshe Ben says- “Yes they can ( reach orgasm without penetration)! And its probably done on the early days of the relationship if a woman is not ready for sex yet. But you need to learn how to do it. Not everyone can please orally or without entering.”

The conventional wham-bam sex is definitely pleasurable, the design of our genitals says so, doesn’t it? But sometimes this becomes undoable for many older couples. Men do take erection medication but still don’t manage to get it up or keep it that way for long. Similarly the older ladies might use the best lubricant but due to muscle loosening not feel any pleasure in penetration or sometimes feel pain, outercourse is best in such circumstances too.

Same-sex couples also engage in such practices, especially homosexual men sometimes might use it as an alternate to anal penetration, and lesbians also use it to add to their repertory of sexual techniques that don’t involve a penis.

Long distance relationships and lack of face to face time are the facts of modern living that partners now experience increasingly. If two partners are located in different parts of the world they need not be sexless as a couple. With technology breakthroughs lots of couples indulge in screen sex where couples can almost simulate being together using Skype, Snapchat or Facetime without physically being together. This can involve sexting including audio-visual sexting, voyeurism, and toys connected to apps that can create a particular kind of sensation or intensity for you as your partner from across a screen decides. All this is non-penetrative sex.

Various types of Sex without intercourse

1. The commonest variant of intercourse remains the popular making out which is sometimes also used as a euphemism for sex. The term dates back to at least 1949. Dictionaries define it as sex only however it can be used to refer to types of kissing not just mouth to mouth, petting, necking, breast/penis massage and more without any coital contact.

2. Frottage refers to rubbing any part of the body, including body parts that have sexual connotations like the breasts, buttocks, thighs as well as non-sexual parts such as face, feet, hands, legs against the genitals of the partner. This can be done either clothed or naked and is commonly referred to as dry humping or dry sex. An advance variant is popularly called GG rubbing that is genital to genital rubbing but no inserting.

3. Manual intercourse as the name suggests is another term for mutual masturbation. Here partners indulge in mutually stimulating each other’s genitals. This is sometimes also part of foreplay and done before intercourse. Though it can also be the primary sexual mode of climaxing for some couples.

Masturbation is healthy

Masturbation is healthy

4. Mutual masturbation can be a handjob which refers to the stimulation of the penis or scrotum of a male and fingering of the vagina, clitoris or other parts of the vulva using hands and fingers. Sometimes stimulation is done on the anus of the partner too. With little chances of bodily fluids being exchanged here this is a good technique for safe sex, and largely reduces the risk of STDs as well. Human fingers have joints, unlike a penis and can bend in all sorts of angles leading to pleasure.

5. Sometimes feet are used for similar stimulation and this is called a Footjob. In some cases it is also a popular act of a common foot fetish. One partner uses their feet to rub and/or caresses the penis till orgasm. Alternately toes can be used to stimulate the female genitals including the clitoris.

6. Mammary intercourse known in slang as titty f*&$ involves the stimulation of the penis placing it between the breasts. Rubbing or moving an erection up and down to look like penetration is also done to get/give sexual pleasure. It might involve other fetishes too like that related to breast milk and lactation.

7. Sex using the breasts also involves nipplegasms for women. The nipples and breasts are stimulated with mouth and hands or sometimes even with toys such as vibrators or nipple clamps to make the woman reach her climax. Some men also report having nipplegasms or heightened arousal when their nipples are stimulated.

8. Teabagging is a slang term for a type of oral sex when a male partner places his scrotum in the mouth of a partner for pleasure. This is sometimes done on the face or head of the partner too. The motion is a repeated in-and-out one having striking resemblance to dipping a tea bag into a cup, hence its name.

There is huge debate about whether oral sex is penetrative or not because it can cause certain kind of STIs if not pregnancy. Also everybody doesn’t know how to indulge in providing pleasure without penetration.

Why is outercourse great?

Chetna Khanna, author of Edge Of Ecstasy Book Series writes on Quora- “My best Tinder encounters were with a strange guy who loved to see me orgasm, rather than put his ding-dong inside me. He would finger-fuck me again and again till I came on to his fingers. Our longest session lasted a marathon eight hours, with me cumming 14 times. He ended the session (as he often would) by jerking his cock with his own hands and shooting jizz onto my boobs and tummy.”

It opens up a huge variety of sexual acts of couples to enjoy fulfilling sex at any stage and circumstance of their lives. Great sex without the traditional in and out intercourse can be equally pleasurable, playful, and possible for lovers of all age groups. This opens up a whole new variety of sexual activities that lovers can use to extend their pleasure thresholds.

 

By |2019-11-08T06:51:56+00:00October 30th, 2019|Foreplay, Men|0 Comments

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