Yes, Women Like Sex- That’s NOT An Invitation for Sexual Harassment

//Yes, Women Like Sex- That’s NOT An Invitation for Sexual Harassment
  • My Body My Choice

Yes, Women Like Sex- That’s NOT An Invitation for Sexual Harassment

Being a woman who talks openly about sex, gender and sexuality has surely made me feel more free and liberated in a conservative society. I get to take charge of my own body, unlearn the sexual shame and restrictions of womanhood, and most enjoyably, I get to explore my own pleasure and what feels good to me. But… what about how other people see me? The words are generous (note sarcasm) to say the least. Whore. Bitch. Slut. Feminazi.

When a woman is unabashed about being a sexual being, many people, men especially, assume that she open to having sex with anyone at all times of the day. They assume that she has no boundaries. In our society, women are either desexualized, or hypersexualized. Women who are open about their desires often fall into the second category. And it’s not just strangers on the internet who may try to solicit you inappropriately. Everyone, from friends, colleagues, even boyfriends, may begin to take your boundaries for granted.

After making unwanted sexual advances towards me, in spite of me saying NO, I have noticed that many men still persist and then justify themselves by saying “I thought you liked all this!” 

The answer is yes and no. Do I like flirtation, touching, kissing, sex? YES! I do! But context matters. I like these things when I feel like engaging in them, with people I’m comfortable with and in ways that I enjoy. The when, where, how, and who matters significantly. So here’s a reminder for everyone.

Just because a woman likes sex, and is open about it, does not mean that she is willing to have sex with anyone and everyone.

Her being a sexual being does not supercede everything else about her. Like with all people, being sexual is only one part of any woman’s personality. Everybody has boundaries, and when we start looking at people as walking, talking sex machines, we essentially forget this. 

But also, in a culture that is trying to fight back against sexual repression, it can be a little tricky to navigate what is and what isn’t okay. And the key to navigating this more smoothly lies with one single word. Consent. So next time you see a woman who talks about sex on her timeline, and you want to send her a sexually loaded message, think twice.

This woman could be talking about sex for many reasons- she may be an activist, an educator, a public health enthusiast. Think about why she is going against society so strongly to talk about an issue, and try and respond with empathy towards reason. Is she protesting against social norms and repression just so that she can receive a picture of your erect penis or a message about how sexy she is? Umm. No. That’s completely unwarranted. 

So yes, let’s shed our sexual inhibitions. But let us also be aware of the time and place for expressing our sexual interests towards an individual. If someone is discouraging or simply not responding to your sexual advances, then it’s always best to stop. Going forward with that would become harassment. To build a really healthy, open sexual culture, what we need is more communication and less assumptions and entitlement. So if you’re unsure of whether your behaviour is making someone uncomfortable, then just ask! And remember, when it comes to harassment, no one is asking for it!

By |2019-12-21T06:24:29+00:00December 21st, 2019|Culture|1 Comment

One Comment

  1. Kajal January 15, 2020 at 4:38 am - Reply

    Thanks 4 writing n sharing this article, would like to have wats n ideas where we all can contributespread this message n make our society healthy.

Leave A Comment

Ask Sex Coach

You don’t need to settle for a mediocre love life. Light up your bedroom with our advice.

I agree to the Terms